You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
