I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
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