do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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