No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
