She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
