WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
