with your own penis?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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