It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize