I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
