He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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