Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize