We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
