So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
