If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
