Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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