Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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