The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
