Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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