I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
