i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
