i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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