do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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