and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
