Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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