You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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