She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
