How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
