I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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