how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
