I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
