I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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