just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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