4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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