I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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