Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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