id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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