She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
