i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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