He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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