I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
