Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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