I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
