i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So much rum. So many feels.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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