is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
