I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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