i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
