I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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