he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
