honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
