he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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