Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize