I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
