I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Help. Why am I so naked?
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