I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
