her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
