White coat. Heels.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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