alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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