So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
