ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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