People in love make me want to vomit
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
