did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
