I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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