dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
